Rescuing my Yin asap!

Be at the centre

Yin will be resurrected in no time

Today i have been reminded not to forget my shadow which what i have accidentally done as I venturing deeper into my journey.

How can I explain it better? Maybe something like this and i do hope you get the idea.

Since I fully embracing spirituality, i thankfully with all the guidance have made so many positive personal improvements, being closer to god, coming clean from my meth addiction and avoiding non meaningful hook ups are some of the big one.

All too precious to jeopardise.

I sleep and eat very well, going to gym everyday, doing bit of fun reading( 4 heavy duty books remains pretty untouched ) , studying and spending meaningful time with nature.

I loved my family birds, my therapist all of them roaming in this city.

This is the 92th entry for this blog dedicated for my journey and for somebody who never was into writing or journalling am beyond happy and proud of myself.

By completely abandoning my addiction, no more dating apps and i have also skipped sex for almost 3 months.

Yes am the 40 year old virgin!

I have been also taken off from the Prep clinic as well because I no longer taking prep anymore.

I do get sexual urges because they are lots of temptations around as I go to gym regularly and summer means plenty of hot guys around everywhere.

From the sexual end am not very much concerned because I mostly calm and can contain them plus you can always jerk off in emergency.

No porn for me at all as well for the last 3 months when i was once binging on them heavily.

Drugs, porn and dating apps were the norms then.

I have also been more picky to the music am listening to, meaning a lot more what I presumed soul enriching music like medieval music, instruments and film soundtracks compared to pop or circuit music that i enjoyed very much before.

Worst was in the last 2-3 days I decided to stop listening to music almost completely spending a lot more time with mindfulness, meditation which was not good.

I stopped texting my friends as much as well because usually we will be only talking about rubbish stuff but in fairness whats else you be talking about .

My idea was maybe doing a lot less of that to just one day of the week.

Talking about rubbish stuff/ gossiping in moderation if its mutual is surely okay we should know the limit and when to stop.

Anything in moderation is fine really, keep it to the centre or balanced as Lao Tzu said.

Drinking wise , no alcohol but saying that I don’t usually drink.

It seems quite a big chunck of me gone.

All with the idea of embodying light.

Am imbalanced.

I was becoming the conjuring nun.

And this one hit me right at heart.

In doing so, am forgetting my dark feminine energy, my dearest Yin as i becoming more light when the dark and light are both equally important equally divine complementing each other.

Both interchange into each other in perfect harmony.

I forgot the need for balance that i mentioned before, i need to get my spirulina back up so I become my balanced state ,spiritualina.

I named my shadow as spirulina instead of Annabelle or Chucky.

So in order to recover Yin, I spent my evening with some plum wine and entertainment from the amazing Mistermiss livestream.

If Yin happy, Yang will be happy too and vice versa.

If both happy then I be very happy.

I will think of some dark activities lol, maybe going out clubbing but it will be too busy as its bank holiday weekend.

I can play the circuit playlist at home instead.

No more drug ever tho ! Thats scary sinking sand that will drag me down deep smelly shit hola.

Lets keep the YinYang balanced!

We are energy!

To the rescue !!