Saving My Yin asap

Be at the centre

Yin will be resurrected in no time

Today i have been reminded not to forget my shadow which what i have accidentally done as I venturing deeper into my journey.

How can I explain it better? Maybe something like this and i do hope you get the idea.

Since I fully embracing spirituality, i thankfully with all the guidance have made so many positive personal improvements, being closer to god, coming clean from my meth addiction and avoiding non meaningful hook ups are some of the big one.

All too precious to jeopardise.

I sleep and eat very well, going to gym everyday, doing bit of fun reading( 4 heavy duty books remains pretty untouched ) , studying and still spending meaningful time with nature.

I loved my family birds, my therapist all of them roaming in this city.

This is the 92th entry for this blog dedicated for my journey and for somebody who never was into writing or journalling am beyond happy and proud of myself.

By completely abandoning my addiction, no more dating apps and i have also skipped sex for almost 3 months.

Yes am the 40 year old virgin!

I have been also taken off from the Prep clinic as well because I no longer taking prep anymore.

I do get sexual urges because they are lots of temptations around as I go to gym regularly and summer means plenty of hot guys around everywhere.

Anyway, from the sexual end am not very much bothered because I mostly calm and can contain them plus you can always jerk off if needs be.

No porn for me at all as well for the last 3 months when i was binging on them heavily before.

I also been more selective to the music am listening to, meaning a lot more music enriching to the soul like medieval music and some film soundtracks compared to pop or circuit music that i enjoyed very much before.

Worst was in the last 2-3 days I decided to stop listening to music completely but just in my silence and spending a lot more time with mindfulness which was bad move.

I stopped texting my friends as much as well because usually we will be only talking about rubbish stuff but in fairness whats else you be talking about .

My idea was maybe reduced that to just one day of the week.

Talking about rubbish stuff in moderation if its mutual is okay and fun, we should know the limit and when to stop.

Anything in moderation is fine really, keep it to the centre as Lao Tzu said.

Drinking wise , no alcohol but saying that i never was a drinker really.

It seems quite a big chunck of me gone.

All with the idea of embodying light.

Am imbalanced.

I was becoming the conjuring nun.

I saved this ages ago because I loved the words and yes I do need to be reminded now and again. It’s so beautifully true.

In doing so, am forgetting my dark feminine energy, my dearest Yin as i becoming more light when the dark and light are both equally important equally divine complementing each other.

Both transcend into each other in perfect harmony.

I forgot the need for balance that i mentioned before, i need to get my spirulina back up so I become my balanced state ,spiritualina.

I named my shadow as spirulina instead of Annabelle or Chucky.

So in order to recover Yin, I spent my evening with some plum wine and entertainment from the amazing Mistermiss livestream.

If Yin happy, Yang will be happy too and vice versa.

If both happy then I be very happy.

I will think of some dark activities lol, maybe going out clubbing but it will be too busy as its bank holiday weekend.

I can play the circuit playlist at home instead.

No more drug ever tho ! Thats scary sinking sand that will drag me down deep shit hola.

Lets keep the YinYang balanced!

We are energy!

To the rescue !!