Rescuing my Yin asap!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YcEaPwmoSo

Yin will be resurrected in no time

Today I was reminded not to forget my shadow which I have accidentally done as I walking farther into my journey.

How can I explain it better? Maybe something like this and I do hope you get the idea.

Since I fully embracing spirituality, I thankfully with all the guidance have made some significant positive self improvements, being closer to god, coming off from my meth addiction and holding myself from non meaningful hook ups are some of the big one.

All are too precious to jeopardise.

I sleep and eat very well, hitting the gym everyday, doing some fun reading( 4 heavy duty books still crying for some attention ) , studying and spending great time with nature.

I loved my family birds, my therapist all of them making home in this city.

This is the 92th entry for this blog dedicated to my journey and for somebody who never was into writing or journalling am beyond happy and proud of myself.

By beating my addiction, no more dating apps and I have also skipped sex for almost 3 months by choice.

Yes am virgin again.

I was also taken off from the Prep clinic as well because am no longer sexually active.

I do get the urges because they are lots of temptations at the gym and summer means plenty of hot guys around everywhere.

From the sexual end am okay because I mostly calm and can contain them plus you can always jerk off in emergency.

No more porn for me as well for the last 3 months when I was binging on them heavily before.

I have also been more selective on the music am listening to, meaning a lot more what I presumed soul enriching sound like the medieval music, instrumental( duduk and piano) and film soundtracks( Hans Zimmer) compared to the pop or circuit music which I absolutely loved before.

Worst was over the last 2-3 days I decided to stop listening to music almost completely spending a lot more time with mindfulness, meditation instead which was not good idea.

I stopped texting my friends as much as well because usually we will be only talking about crap but in fairness whats else you be talking about .

I was hoping to cut that down to maybe once a week.

Bit of gossiping surely okay.

Keep it to the centre or to find the balance in life as what reminded by the ancient sage, Lao Tzu.

Drinking wise , no alcohol but saying that I don’t usually drink.

It seems quite a big chunk of me gone.

All with the idea of embodying light.

Am imbalanced as I was wrongly chasing perfection.

I was becoming the conjuring nun.

And this one hit me right at the heart.

In doing so, am forgetting my dark feminine energy, my dearest Yin as I becoming too light when the dark and light are both equally important equally divine complementing each other.

Both can interchange into each other in perfect harmony.

I forgot the need for balance that I mentioned before, I need to get my spirulina back up so I become my balanced state ,#spiritualina.

I playfully call my shadow as spirulina instead of Annabelle or Chucky.

So in order to recover Yin, I had some plum wine for the evening and top entertainment from the amazing Mistermiss livestream.

If Yin happy, Yang will be happy too and vice versa.

If both happy then I be very happy.

I will think of some fun activities, maybe going out clubbing but it will be too busy as its the bank holiday weekend.

I will play my fav circuit playlist at home instead.

Definitely no to drug ever because the hardest lessons learnt.

To the rescue !!