Well done me!

A month has passed since my solitude, self rehab and venture into personal growth started, Here are some small wins but meaningful achievements to date to keep the momentum going.

The efforts made are starting to pay off beautifully.

1. Am home.

   -Am closer than ever to god and thats everything , the reason the motivation and I forever grateful.

   -Never was I abandoned , despite my shadows my many wrongdoings and i have been guided, protected and loved all along.

   - Freedom, beyond lucky to be guided in this journey and finally found myself.

   -Look inside, find the god in you and the rest shall follow.

   -Remembrance as the greatest blessing.

   
   

2. Am rested

   -After being rotten for years, zombie phase finally over am well rested and living again.

   -I have done way more in this short amount of time compared to the many years ago combined.

   -Sleep is precious and key to recovery.

- Back sleeping again every night. This is super important and non negotiable.

- At my worst I only slept for few hours in a week which was tragic.

-My raccoon eyes are now history and now here am journaling on the raccoonarmy.

3. The insane craving and withdrawal gone.

I havent smoked in more than a week and I did it almost every day!. Smoking before after work, smoking most of the time, no sleep no food, complete disaster.

The withdrawal felt like somebody poking and pressing my head.

I havent bought any stuff in a month.

I disposed all my bongs.

Looking at my revolut data, I wasted about 10k on drugs and drug related stuff over the years.

I did enquire about on site rehab but for now am good.

4. Am eating well and back cooking again

-Not a chef but yes home cooking.

-When i was smoking, I survived on instant noodles quite a lots as wasn't hungry and that was the easy option. The Apollo's chicken was my saviour and I still love it to these days. I simply added egg for the protein.

-I only cooked maybe once or twice a week.

-Now am hungrier than ever and I have all the time on my hand. Cooking almost daily and sometimes with desserts as well.

-Loving the process, from going through recipes, shopping for the ingredients to the actual cooking.

- Cooking is therapeutic too.

-A lot less takeaway.

5. I have been to gym almost everyday

-Didnt go to any for months and months

-I have been working out every Saturday morning for the last 4 weeks.

-Now I have the luxury to go to gym as early as 0700 when the majority are rushing -to work.

-Overall, feeling way better like meeting my old self again.

-Am no longer out of breath taking up the stairs at my place.

6. Spending good quality time with nature.

-Going to parks daily and admiring the birds the flowers and the quiet peace alone.

-I walks alots and the weather has been great.

-Easily the best summer ever !

7. Good bye to dating apps, online cruising and non meaningful casual meeting.

-More self respect, clear boundaries and a lots kinder to myself.

-Am getting morning wood again, yea!

8. Adios to my last demanding job, the many on calls , the toxic people i worked with and the daily commute with the unreliable bus.

-Am off that painful cycle.

-Enough being the donkey, am free living my new era my own way.

-Am doing a lot more/living and still feel like i have plenty of time on my hands.

-Talking about time well spent. I did more this month than what i have done for the last few years.

-Life was a rush and suffocating before,chasing work chasing weekend and the time gone just like that.

-In fairness,my options at the end was really down to either to continue with the job , smoking tina daily and eventually lost everything vs to quit the job, quit drugs and commit myself to god to reclaim myself.

-Choose god always.

9. Reading for fun

-Anything , reading mostly because i wanted to, AI makes it very easy. Something new , random stuff something interesting. I bought myself some books too.

-Am doing Rumi now and next The Elegant Universe .

-Cosmology also newfound interest.

10.Journaling

- Never been writing this much but it has been fun its very me and this is the remarkable 50th entry !

-Mainly dedicated to my journey to remembrance ,nature and some food contents.