And then the magic start! Off the autopilot and the solitude begins

The journey to my self discovery has been like wild rollercoster and I only just bought the ticket.

There are many ups and downs but thats the beauty i guess.

Lots of tears and anger too.

At times am lost and confused at times am hopeful and very thankful to have been guided on this journey heavily by the universe and god.

We are enough we are worthy and relax we are at where we should be.

( have to remind myself that many times)

Your journey is uniquely yours, be in the moment and live for every seconds of it

There is no past and future as all the infinite nows are existing.

Be generous with self kindness and forget the temptation to compare our journey to others.

All are valid and beautiful.

There is no time to it and it’s very okay if we don’t see the destination yet.

I don’t anyway.

Embrace the shadow as much as we celebrate the light.

The shadow is our equally important other half.

Many spending their lives time hiding or suppressing their shadow not knowing thats the very reason they destroyed.

We have always been both barbie and Annabelle or Ken and Chucky.

Good and evil don’t exist but both are the equally divine energy complementing each other.

The good and the shadow make up the beautiful person we are, only when the light and the shadow in harmony in balanced we become complete.

In Tao Te Ching, Loa Tze reminded us long time to be at the centre of the circle.

Isn't it the darkness of the night, our mother that allow us to appreciate the beauty of the stars?

I joyfully called my good side as spirituality and my shadow as spirulina. Together we are #spiritualina.

Name yours as you like.

Maybe something fun , funny or outrageous?

Carl Jung on many of his writings says " Ones does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light but by making the darkness conscious"

Poor Annabelle and Chucky hidden, hated, suppressed and neglected for years but they will always come back in different forms until fully addressed.

Be brave face yourself and embrace the shadow.

Sit down with your shadow

At times am very confused and even angry , sometimes I ask if am losing my marbles ?

There are not many of them left i can guarantee.

Am I sure what am doing?

I somehow very much at peace , more than I ever was.

That’s a very good sign to me .

That’s what keep me pushing.

My friends might call me crazy but even if it is , I won’t change a single thing at all.

Learning slowly not to care about others opinions as this is my own path and I must walk it myself.

You might pity me because it seems I lost everything but for me this is the alignment , am no longer the person I was. I actually , gaining more by having less , this peace in my heart is priceless .

I listen to my own body , my intuition and inner frequency.

I learnt to always listen to the heart and quieten the mind.

My many life adversaries , my struggles with narcissistic , addiction and professional misconduct case with medical council were all pivotal.

The setbacks were painfully challenging moments but they were also like the signs/ the nudges from the universe ,a big sign to stop looking outside but inside and remember who I was from the very beginning.

Rumi was right " the wound is where the light enter"

And my wound was pretty big, deep and nasty.

When we hit the rock bottom the only way out is up.

Many times, we are made busy chasing the world/ maya.

We would never win chasing the phantom, but to remember who we were before all the conditionings and programming corrupted us.

We stuck in vicious cycle we or others called life.

We forget to live as we busy living others expectations and wants .

Living our lives according to others idea of what constitute a good succesful life.

If you feeling lost,

If the world letting you down ,

If you reading this ,

Maybe it’s time to start looking inside.

It is the only way out.

Your rest is your reset.

Your emotion is your information.

Always listen to the emotion.

Reconnect with the nature.

Enjoy the morning walk, the breeze , look into the blue sky, listen to the birds.

Explore your creativity , meditate, yoga, dance or whatever your vibes is.

Eat better, feel every tastes in your mouth, sit down and take time to actually enjoy your food.

Smell your freshly made fav coffee.

A lot less time on the phone/ social media.

Let’s not reaching for the phone right away after waking up in the morning.

Take a break from the many apps notifications and social media.

Most will only last few minutes before falling into that quick dopamine fix.

The longer the better.

Sleep well, let the body clock reset without the alarm if possible.

Tidy up the bed, that shows character and discipline .

It’s nice to come home to a clean and well made bed.

I remember I lost my earphone last year.

I lost them many times and would usually get them replaced in no time.

That one was different , something seems to stop me from doing that .

No more banging loud music

No more earphones in the gym.

I was taught to listen to my body to tone down the noises the distractions,

When the noises too loud we barely hear our own natural frequency but instead our brain tuning to others subconsciously.

Am surely, a fan of Lyran' energy. Am Leo myself , in my childhood we grew up with tons of cats. And when am broken apart, they called me home. I started seeing leopard’ prints or strangely more aware and attracted to them last summer. Again, for me another big sign from the universe or some may call it as synchronicities.

I bought myself a very cool adidas’ Wales Bonner’ leopard print shoe to honour the energy.

It turned out am naturally attracted to the energy- I got cap, shirts, undies , sunglasses and even sofa cushions all with leopard prints.

Maybe leopard is my actual spirit animal instead of beluga whale.

maybe i can have both too.

Miss Beluga

The setbacks / stumbles won’t be forever

Soon, it will be okay again.

Every single person we met meant to teach us something in life .

Be kind be compassionate as the people we met are reflections of ours.