And then the magic start! Off the autopilot and the solitude begins

The journey home has been like wild rollercoster and I only just bought the ticket.

There are many ups and downs but thats the beauty that I might not yet realised I guess.

Lots of tears and anger too.

At times am lost and confused at times am hopeful and very thankful to have been guided by the universe and god.

We are enough we are worthy and rest assured that we are at where we should be.

( have to remind myself that many times).

Your journey is uniquely yours, treasure every moments and live for every seconds of it.

We are never behind.

There is no past or future as all the infinite nows are existing.

Stop dwelling in the past or wandering far into the future.

Be generous with self kindness and forget the temptation to compare our journey to others.

All are valid and beautiful.

There is no time to it and it’s very okay if we don’t see the destination yet.

I don’t anyway.

Embrace the shadow as much as we celebrate the light.

The shadow is our equally important other half.

Many spending their lives time hiding or suppressing their shadow not knowing thats the very reason they destroyed.

We are not just Barbie or Ken.

We have always been both Barbie and Annabelle or Ken and Chucky.

Good and evil only exist in religions when both are actually equally divine complementing each other.

We have been deceived to only honour the light and forget the shadow.

The good and the shadow are our nature and only when they in harmony in balanced we become complete.

In Tao Te Ching, LaoTze reminded us ages ago to be at the centre of the circle, the Yin and Yang.

Isn't the darkness of the night, the mother that allow us to appreciate the beauty of the stars?

I joyfully called my good side as spirituality and my shadow as spirulina. Together we are #spiritualina.

Name yours as you like.

Pick something fun , funny or outrageous.

Carl Jung in many of his writings says " Ones does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light but by making the darkness conscious"

Poor Annabelle and Chucky suppressed and neglected for years but they will always haunt us until fully addressed.

Stop running away face yourself and embrace the shadow.

Sit down with your shadow

At times am very confused and even angry , sometimes I ask if am losing my marbles ?

There are not many of them left I can guarantee.

Am I sure what am doing?

I somehow very much at peace , more than I ever was.

That’s a very good sign to me . The only sign that matters.

That’s what keep me pushing.

My friends might call me crazy but let me be.

Learning slowly not to care about others opinions as this is my path and I will walk it myself.

You might pity me because it seems I lost everything but for me this is the alignment , am no longer the person I was. I actually , gaining more by having less , this peace that I have is priceless.

I started to listen to my own body my inner wisdom.

I learnt to always listen to the heart and to calm the mind.

My many life adversaries , my struggles with narcissistic , addiction and professional misconduct case with medical council were all pivotal.

Whatever happened happen as they should..

The setbacks were painfully tough but they were also like the signs/ the nudges from the universe ,a big sign to stop looking outside but inside and to remember who I truly was.

Rumi was right " the wound is where the light enter"

And my wound was pretty big, deep and nasty.

We are so busy chasing the world/ maya.

We would never win chasing the phantom, the wise one will look inside instead and remember the forgotten self.

The true self before all the conditionings and programming corrupted us.

We stuck in vicious cycle we and others called life.

We forget to live as we busy living to others expectations and wants .

Living our lives according to others idea of success and happiness.

If you feeling lost,

If the world letting you down ,

If you reading this ,

Maybe it’s time to start looking inside.

Your rest is your reset.

Your emotion is your information.

Always listen to the emotion.

Reconnect and recharge with the nature.

Enjoy the morning walk, the breeze , the blue sky and the many birds all around.

Explore your creativity , meditate, yoga, hit the gym or follow your passion.

Eat better and healthier. Sit down take your time and enjoy the food.

Smell your freshly made coffee.

Say your gratitude.

A lot less time on the phone.

Hold the temptation to use the phone right away upon waking up in the morning.

Take a break from the social media.

Most wont be able to stay apart from their virtual world.

Sleep well, let the body reset to its rhythm.

Tidy up the bed, it’s nice to come home to a clean and well made bed.

I remember I lost my earphone last year.

I lost them many times and would usually get them replaced in no time.

That one was different , something seems to stop me from doing that .

No more banging loud music .

No more earphones in the gym or on the bus.

I was taught to listen to my body to tone down the noises the distractions.

When the noises too loud we barely could hear own inner voice.

Am a fan of Lyran' energy. Am Leo myself , in my childhood we grew up with an army of cats. And when am broken apart, they called me home. I started seeing leopard’ prints or strangely more aware and attracted to them last summer. To me that’s another big sign from the universe.

I bought myself a very cool adidas’ Wales Bonner’ leopard print shoe to honour the energy.

It turned out am naturally attracted to the energy- I got cap, shirts, undies , sunglasses and even sofa cushions all with leopard prints.

Maybe leopard is my actual spirit animal instead of beluga whale.

Maybe both of them.

Miss Beluga aka me

The setbacks / stumbles won’t be forever

Soon, it will be okay again.