Amor Fati

Have you heard about amor fati?

Yes,and not me amor!

Love of one's fate.

Friedrich Nietzsche and Marcus Aurellius loved it.

Nietzsche famously said, " want nothing to be different, not backward, not forward in all eternity"

Am learning and mesmerized by this beautiful concept where one not just accepting what life brings out but loving them and actively seeking the beauty and meaning behind them.

Not wanting anything whether good or bad to happen any other way.

For the majority, its easy idea to grasp when it is something positive but when faced with life adversities and challenges its tough.

As human we cant help feeling sad or angry and wishing we would have done this and that.

A lot of things that happened in our life are beyond our control but how we respond to them is definitely ours.

I believe , life is a lot easier if we embody amor fati, rather than being negative and resisting the flow of life we change that mindset into a positive empowering outlook.

Loving life as it is.

Whatever happened, happened for our best.

That everything happens in our favour.

If we looked back at all the hardships and setbacks in our lives, am very sure they all very important moments that shaped us into the person we are today.

Often times we not able to see the meaning or the beauty then but after a while its all make sense.

In my case, high school bullying, addiction, busted professional career and my many encounters with narcissist were all very difficult painful life events but if not for them, I wouldn't be the better person am today.

Without the addiction I wouldn't found god and myself.

Am surely wouldnt be writing this either.

I feel very lucky to reach that point in life where I can say, I wouldn't want my life any other way.

Amor fati makes me excited for life because I believe god and the universe will only have the best for me.

Like ' Okay this is for you now find the hidden surprises'

As my journey continues into the unknown am looking forward to all the uncertainties.

Lao Tzu's words gave me comforts, " The good traveller has no fixed plan", " I'm alone drift about"

The beauty of life will show up eventually sooner or later.

If it isn't , don't forget the gratitude that will keep us grounded.

10 years ago I was denied entry into the country because my residential permit lapsed and didnt have working permit ready as well prior to arrival.

I was given a week to sort out the impossible, getting both done and I needed one so I could apply for another and vice versa.

A week gone, I returned to the airport and escorted to the check in by the same immigration officer who denied my entry for deportation.

It was humilating because , the airport was busy and we had to cut a long queue but at least I wasnt cuffed.

I was my shy old me at that time otherwise I would have made an entrance.

My residential permit is expiring and I will be leaving the country but this time completely as my choice.

The destination is still unclear but few month at home sweet home wont be a bad option because I very infrequently come home with last being 3 years ago and before that 8 years ago.

I have been here long time almost 20 years and before that 20 years in Malaysia.

I need to get out of the box out of the country again so I can get fresh perspective in pretty much everything.

In some way sort of like Plato's The Allegory of The Cave.

Being abroad, living in Ireland for 2 decades have enriched me opened my asian eyes wider ( my needy hole too) which otherwise impossible if I only stayed back home without the double eye lid surgery.

This amazing Emerald Island built me, spoiled me, broke me and healed me.

The complete perfect Irish hospitality a wandering guest could have asked for.

I thought I only came here to do medicine for 5 years but life generously gave me another extra 15 beautiful years.

I have learnt what I needed to learn here.

I came and at the end, I definitely conquered myself.

Beyond the studies, the job and the drugs its really about finding myself.

And thats my honest humble definition of success.

If last time , I lost the job I got due to permits this time am no rush to start working again.

In fact , I got rid of the job and coming back doing the same job is never again.

Nunca mas !

(All I know from telenovela).

I have served my best and done the time.

I have plan and ideas but until everything finalised its a classified then.

Life is indeed a journey- Journey To The West and To The Unknown.

Nietzsche said, one's life with its joy and sorrow will repeat itself infinitely exactly as it is.

Maybe not exactly the way it was but I can see my current experience similar to my experience 10 years ago.

Some says life is a spiral instead of linear progression where one experience recurring themes or similar events.

This allows us to face the challenges much better and encourage self love and forgivenesss knowing that we will have the chance again.

100% true.

Am❤️r Fati

Me amor

Magical yellow sponges made in heaven.