A little reminder to myself.

Today I was out most of the day, I went to both Stephen Green park and St Patrick's Park twice each.

They are pretty closed to each other and I stayed at the one less busy.

The weather was excellent, pretty much sunny all day and the afternoon was even better proper hot hot summer.

A complete change compared to the rather miserable rainy pride day yesterday.

Anywhere in Ireland is gorgeous when it's sunny, people are happy, people going out and doing things.

Some seagulls couldn't cope with the scorching heat and fighting over the main fountain in the middle of the park for the chance to take a dip.

I wasn't bored for sure but it such a waste staying in when it's really sunny outside.

This Emerald Island rains a lots so better to make the best of the hot summer day while it last.

Back then , the weather was only good when I was working and that usually everybody's favourite Monday.

I have achieved so much since I started this journey almost 2 months ago.

Leaving behind my addiction is the 2nd biggest thing ever in my life, first is of course finding god, always.

If you had or fighting addiction then you know how incredibly hard it is to come clean.

I remember begging god desperately that I needed help because this trial was very hard for me and god helped me through, making it possible and been guiding me all along.

I made a surprise visit to see my friends on the Saturday, just out of sudden I got the idea to come over to their place. I was there last in December for Christmas dinner when we shamelessly did over the top karaoke session on drugs.

We did pretty much all the fun timeless millennial hits songs all night.

One of our dear sistah gave daring confession saying he can only hit those high notes when he’s high.

Standing ova!

They did smoke a bit when I was there. They were lil awkward afraid that I will be tempted.

I was strong.

I brought some muffins and plum wine instead for myself.

The experience was surprisingly okay, I stayed there a while watching TV, having bit of food but mostly just enjoying the chat catching up with them.

My joy was I didn't get the urge to smoke there or when I went home.

I learnt my lessons and I simply cannot let myself down again.

I actually headed straight to the gym after that and on the way I stopped briefly at the O Connell street for the pride' parade.

I did 125kg squats today as well , something I have not done for years without anabolic.

While many still partying or recovering post pride, I was among the first in the gym this morning.Sweet!

So am very proud of myself and I just wanted to remind myself again and have it written down here as well.

At times we overlooked the small wins which are equally important to the end goal.

I came accross 3 situations as well:

• A pigeon landed near me as I was walking in town. He missing a foot, likely the tied foot syndrome and I feel sorry for the bird. I had no food with me to offer unfortunately but it seems he was doing just fine despite the disability.

• As am about to reach home, I saw a blind man walking with his stick. As much as I wanted to help I just ended up watching him making his way slowly on his own.

  Yes, he struggled but he was able to cross the road( no traffic light), he must have some degree of vision. Otherwise, why would he be travelling alone.

• A tiny girl walking on the side walk with 2 big luggage bags and 1 small cabin bag. She was clearly overwhelmed and at times lost her grip on those bags.

I didn't help but simply walking slowly so she could have bit of time.

I reflected on those encounters.

The universe must be testing me to see what my responses would be or am just being on my ridiculously caring mode.

• Nothing to worry about the pigeon, sorry for the foot but at that moment not much I can do. Keeping our city clean is the biggest thing we can do to save them from tied foot syndrome.

  
  

• For the blind man, I could probably walking him to his destination or getting him a taxi depending on the distance.

  
  

• For the girl , taxi please!

  
  

I also reminded myself to relax. I can only try to do my best and sometimes it's okay if I cant . As much as I wanted to be helpful it just not possible to save the day for everybody.

It also very okay if I don't feel like helping at all.

Kindness without boundaries becomes self sacrifice.

This is the 67th entry for this blog, my baby is growing indeed.

If somebody asking me to write before, my honest reply would either be double side eyes or the death stares.

I somehow found the joy in writing and the fun creative process behind. Every single entry is very me very personal and meaningful to me.

Most of the lovely pictures taken with my old phone and those birds helped me so much, starting with the mother pigeon who came to bless me one evening.

Of course this is not possible without god which I forever thankful for and mention endlessly

From the one procrastinate, leaving everything hanging or undone to a surprisingly not a bad blog writer.

The ideas are usually spontaneous. I will start writing right away whatever in my mind and over time I improvise/ edit them as needed.

To myself, because you feeling off this evening,

You are bloody amazing.

Go easy on yourself.

You done for today.

Rest and start again tomorrow.

All pictures taken the next morning, I woke up well rested and the pictures were fab too.