A little notes to myself.

Today I was out most of the day, I went to both Stephen Green park and St Patrick's Park twice each.

They are pretty closed to each other and I stayed at the one less busy.

The weather was excellent, pretty much sunny all day and the afternoon was even better proper hot hot summer.

A complete change compared to the mostly wet rainy pride day yesterday.

Anywhere in Ireland is gorgeous when it's sunny, people are happy, people going out and doing things.

Some seagulls couldn't cope with the scorching heat and making a scene over the main fountain in the park for the chance to take a dip.

I wasn't bored for sure it just this feeling it such a waste staying in when its really sunny outside.

This Emerald Island rains a lots so better to enjoy the hot summer day while it last.

Back then , the weather only good when I was working and that usually everybody's favourite Monday.

I have achieved so much since I started my journey almost 2 months ago.

Leaving behind my addiction is the 2nd biggest thing ever in my life, first is of course finding god, always.

If you had or fighting addiction then you know how incredibly hard it is to come clean.

I remember praying to god bagging desperately I needed help because this one was very hard for me and god kindly granted my wish, making it possible and been guiding me all along.

I made a surprise visit to see my friends on Saturday, just out of sudden I got the idea to come to their place. I was there last in December for Christmas dinner when we shamelessly did over the top karaoke session on drugs.

We did most of the fun millennial hits songs.

Our good friend confessed he can only reached those high notes when he’s high.

Standing ova!

They did smoke a bit when I was there. They were lil awkward afraid that I will be tempted.

I brought some muffins and plum wine instead for myself.

The experience was surprisingly okay, I stayed there a while watching TV, having bit of food but mostly just enjoying the good time with them.

My joy was I didnt get the urge to smoke there or when I went home.

I learnt my lessons and I simply cannot do that to myself again.

I actually went straight to gym after that and on the way I stopped briefly at the O Connell street to watch the pride' parade.

I did 125kg squats today as well , something I have not done for years without anabolic.

While many still partying or recovering post pride, I was among the first in the gym this morning.

So am very proud of myself and I just wanted to remind myself again and have it written down here as well.

At times we overlooked the small wins which are equally important as the end game.

I came accross 3 situations as well:

1. A pigeon landed near me as I was walking in town. He missing a foot , must be the tied foot syndrome making me feel bad for the bird. I had no food with me that I can offer unfortunately but it seems the bird was doing just fine despite the disability.

2. As am about to reach home, I saw a partially blind man walking with his stick. As much as I wanted to help I just ended up watching him making his way on his own.

   Yes he struggled but he was able to cross the road( no traffic light), so I assumed he does have some degree of vision. Otherwise, why would he be taking the journey alone.

3. A tiny girl walking on side walk with 2 big luggage bags and 1 small cabin bag. She was clearly struggling and at times lost her grip on the bags.

   I didnt offer hand but simply walked slowly so she could have bit of time.

   
   

   I reflected on those encounters.

   The universe must be testing me to see what my responses would be or am in my overly concerned citizen mode.

   -Not so much worry about the pigeon, yes I sympathised but at that moment not much I can do. Let’s keep our city clean and stop littering so we can reduce tied foot syndrome among the poor pigeons.

   
   

   -For the partially blind man, I could probably offer help, maybe walking him to wherever he needed to go or if far maybe offer him a taxi.

   
   

   -For the girl , I could offer to carry one of her bag or ask her if she would like a taxi.

   I also reminded myself yes I could have done better but if I was meant to help them , it would have happened.

   I wish to do better next time but of course still at my discretion.

   If I were to help everybody in needs I will be mad.

   
   

   A sensible balanced approach in life is more appropriate than being at the extremes. As much as I might be tempted to help or not to help it is not a compulsory or possible to do the right or good in every situations.

   Right and wrong , good and evil are man made concepts when they are both divine.

   
   

This is the 67th entry for this blog, my baby is well alive.

If 2 months ago you telling me I be writing a blog, I will simply give you double side eyes or death stares as my honest response.

I somehow found the joy in writing and sharing my journey. Every single entry is very me very personal to me.

Most of the lovely pictures were taken with my old phone and those birds helped me so much, starting with the mother pigeon who came to visit me one evening.

Of course this is not possible without god which I forever treasure and mention again and again endlessly.

From the one ridden by procrastination, leaving everything hanging or not done at all to a surprisingly creative and productive man.

The ideas are usually spontaneous. I will start writing right away whatever in my mind and over time I improvise/ edit them as needed.

To myself, because you feeling off this evening,

We love you and we are so proud of you.

Dont be hard on yourself.

You done enough for today.

Rest and start again tomorrow.

All pictures were taken a day after this entry writtten, I woke up feeling good and took some beautiful pictures too.